Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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