his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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