I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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