Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
