nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
