This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
