god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
