well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
