More tranny stories later!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
