Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
