there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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