it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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