Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
should my penis look like a turkey
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
