You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
