I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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