You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
A+ Viking dick
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
