I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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