Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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