I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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