I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your penis caused this!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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