Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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