it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
