the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
