Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
