One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
