Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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