they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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