YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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