woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
