$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
