Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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