honey bunches of taint.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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