So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
