Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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