They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
