A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
