Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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