make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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