Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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