She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
