I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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