If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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