The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
