Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
