Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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