i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
