is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
