So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
