i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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