I wish I could teleport
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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