yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
