dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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