Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
